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Posted by Jim Rojas on October 20, 2007, 1:07 am
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Are blondes smarter than Lawyers?
A lawyer and a blonde woman are sitting next to each other on a long flight.
The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde is
tired and just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and tries
to catch a few winks.
The lawyer persists that the game is a lot of fun. "I ask you a
question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me only £5; you ask
me one, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you £500." This
catches the blonde's attention; and, to keep him quiet, she agrees to
play the game.
The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the earth
to the moon?" The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches in to her purse,
pulls out a five pounds note, and hands it to the lawyer.
Now, it's the blonde's turn. She asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill
with three legs, and comes down with four?"
The lawyer uses his laptop, searches all references. He searches Google
and many other sites on the Net. He sends e-mails to all the smart
friends he knows, all to no avail. After an hour or two searching he
finally gives up. He wakes up the blonde and hands her £500. The blonde
takes the £500 and goes back to sleep.
The lawyer is going nuts not knowing the answer. He wakes her up and
asks, "Well, so what does goes up a hill with three legs and comes down
with four?"
The blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer £5 and goes back to
sleep.
Jim Rojas wrote:
> Interesting reading...enjoy!
>
> Talk is cheap until you hire a lawyer.
>
> Did you hear about the terrorist who hijacked a 747 full of lawyers? He
> threatened to release one every hour if his demands weren't met.
>
> Any time a lawyer is seen and not heard, it's a shame to wake him.
>
> If you can't find a lawyer who knows the law, find one who knows the judge.
>
> Attorney: Let me give you my honest opinion.
> Client: No, I'm paying for professional advice.
>
> A lawyer is an expert on justice in the same way a prostitute is an
> expert on love.
>
> In law school, time is meaningless; but in time, law school is meaningless.
>
> Psychiatrist Frasier Crane: I hate lawyers.
> Psychiatrist Niles Crane: I do too, but they make wonderful patients.
> They have excellent health insurance, and they never get better.
>
> A doctor told his patient that she had only six months to live.
> "Isn't there anything I can do?" pleaded the patient.
> "Marry a lawyer," the doctor advised. "It will be the longest six months
> of your life."
>
>
> Quoted from:
>
>
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/41815/20_reasons_not_to_go_to_law_school.html
>
>
> I'm a lawyer. Here are 20 reasons not to make the same mistake I did.
> Here are 20 reasons not to go to law school.
>
> 1. All lawyers are assholes. A common misconception is that lawyers
> become assholes at the swearing in ceremony. Take it from me, they're
> assholes as early as law school orientation.
>
> 2. Law school costs a shitload of money. Unless your parents flit the
> bill, you're gonna be paying back student loans for the next 30 years of
> your life. You may even be writing articles for Associated Content just
> to meet your monthly school loan bills.
>
> 3. If you believe you go to school to learn, law school isn't for you.
> Law school isn't for learning, it's for competing against your fellow
> classmates. The same assholes I mentioned in Reason #1.
>
> 4. You learn absolutely nothing practical in law school. Law school is
> meant to help you think like a lawyer, not help you practice law. There
> are no classes entitled Legal Fees 101 or Getting Your Deadbeat Client
> to Pay. You learn that the hard way on your own.
>
> 5. Law school professors are pretentious pricks. Think of your worst
> college professor and multiply his or her conceit by one hundred. That's
> your average law school professor.
>
> 6. Law students don't drink nearly as much as college students. If you
> think you're going to law school to continue your partying days, think
> again. Law students aren't fun. Stay on campus, take graduate courses.
>
> 7. The Juris Doctorate degree is the only Doctorate degree you can earn
> and still not be called Doctor. "Counselor" just sucks, and it's
> usually used only by Judges right before they yell at you.
>
> 8. Law students are constantly asked for legal advice even though they
> don't know the first damn thing about the law. You either have to make
> something up or look stupid. Or both.
>
> 9. Final Exams suck. Your entire semester boils down to two weeks of
> tests, one session right before Christmas, one right before summer
> break. Talk about stress. Who needs that?
>
> 10. Summer Break sucks. You've got to work to build up your resume
> during summer break because all those aforementioned assholes are doing
> it and you're competing against them.
>
> 11. Three years is a long time. The four years of college flew by, but
> don't expect the same from the years you're stuck in law school.
> Remember, you're surrounded by assholes, you're competing, and no one's
> drinking. Time...moves...slowly.
>
> 12. The pretty girls are mean, the good-looking guys are dorks.
>
> 13. You are told at law school orientation that you cannot sustain a
> relationship while you are in law school. Say goodbye to your mate, and
> no, he or she will not be waiting for you over the next three years.
>
> 14. The Bar Exam sucks. It's two or three days of nonsensical
> questions that you will never have to answer again in your career.
> You'll study for three months for one damn test, and if you fail (and
> 40% of you will), you have to do it all over again in six months. And
> you'll look like a dumbass to the asshole friends you made in law school.
>
> 15. If you pass the bar exam, you then have to deal with the State's
> Character and Fitness Committee. If you've led any kind of life, you
> have at least one or two skeletons in your closet. Well, dust them off,
> because they're coming out. And some group of self-righteous assholes
> are gonna judge you by them.
>
> 16. The bigger the firm you end up with, likely the more money you'll
> make. The caveat is the bigger the firm you work for, the more assholes
> you'll work with.
>
> 17. Practicing law isn't a 9 to 5 gig. You work long hours. With
> those aforementioned assholes. Nuff said.
>
> 18. Lawyer jokes. Yeah, they were funny when you first heard them. But
> they get old real fast.
>
> 19. Most Judges are none too swift. And you have to kiss their ass
> right through their black robes. I mean, really these Judges have to
> take a pay cut to drape themselves in black and sit on a perch. How
> much fun can they be?
>
> 20. The best reason not to go to law school and not to become a lawyer
> is this: CLIENTS. Clients ruin the practice of law. They are often
> imbecilic tormentors who tell you time and time again, "You work for
> me." They know nothing about the law, but they wanna run the show. And
> worst of all, they don't like to pay their bills.
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